Bullsh*tt*ng

Emily and I have been discussing parenting styles recently. The standard stuff like discipline, how to encourage, etc. We won't need any of this for a year or so, but it's best to plan a bit beforehand. And that brings me to the value of bullshitting.

I don't know if anyone has heard of the card game called "Cheat", but I think it's a good and safe intro to the concept of bullshitting. The rules are:

• Split the deck evenly between all players, and keep your cards hidden.
• On your turn, choose some of your cards and place them face down on the table. Describe what those cards are, like "4 aces" or "3 kings".
• You do not have to tell the truth. There are some rules for how you can describe those cards.... but truth is not one of the rules.
• If someone calls out "Cheat" when you're lying, then you have to pick up all the cards that were put down so far.
• If someone call out "Cheat" and you're NOT lying, then they have to pick up all the cards that were put down so far.
• The first person to get rid of all their cards wins the game.

I feel this game teaches us:

• not to believe the first thing you hear (a good strategy is to lie unnecessarily on your first turn and tell the truth on your second turn, as it can really confuse people)
• it is always safer to tell the truth, as there's a high probability of the truth coming out
• you cannot make unbelievable claims and expect people to accept it easily
• test the truth of what someone says by looking at what you know for sure (if someone claims to put down 2 aces, but you have 3 aces in your hand, you know they are bullshitting)
• pay attention to what is going on and where the cards are, because that information can help identify any lies
• you must tell the truth at the end (everyone will call "Cheat" on your winning turn, so you better be telling the truth)

Not all of the above are positive lessons, I know. But some are very useful in a world where you can't trust information. How do you know that your friend is not stranded in Spain without a credit card and needs you to wire money immediately? Because if they needed money that badly, they could have made a collect call. How do you know that combining your chequing and mortgage will save you money? Run the numbers yourself. How do you know that Microsoft won't donate $1 to AIDS research for every time you forward an email? Because you have never heard of a service that lets you track emails like that. How much should you trust a person online? Only as far as you can independently verify what they say.

But can/should you incorporate bullshitting as a parenting skill? Before I even knew how to play a game like "Cheat", I was exposed to the concept of bullshitting. My Dad loved to do it, with statements like "I can remember being born" being one of his favourites. If you left your McDonalds fries unwatched, someone would steal them and try to convince you that you ate them all. It was up to you to spot who had two sets of fries in front of them.

The main difference between "bullshitting" and outright "lying" was that you can always identify the bullshit by looking at your surroundings. And you would be congratulated for successfully separating the bullshit from the truth.

I honestly think this has helped me. I accept what people say, but do not rely too heavily on it. I try to pick out information that sounds odd or incorrect or misphrased, and take the time to verify those facts. I always try to correlate what I hear with what I see and what I can deduce. It has been a valuable lesson to me.

So when our child asks "Has the sky always been blue?", I may just answer "Well they have to repaint it every year, and this year they chose blue. Last year it was green." And I will be very happy when they call "bullshit" on me, because all our photos have nice blue skies.

Means-Tested Disability Benefits

From what I understand of the Albertan welfare system, many disability benefits are cut once you start earning money from other sources. I can't speak for the rest of Canada or even my home Australia as I have never been involved there. However, I'm not sure if this should be considered a "fair go" for disabled citizens.

As I understand it, the idea of "social security" is that we guarantee all citizens a minimum level of living. The premise is that all individuals deserve a decent life, though circumstances may make it difficult or impossible for them to achieve it on their own. In some cases these circumstances are transient (eg. unemployment, pregnancy, illness) while other times they are permanent (eg. disability). In either case, society feels that we should offset the individual's circumstance by providing them with some kind of benefits.

Now it makes sense that an individual's "unemployment benefits" would be cut if they become employed. The individual's circumstances have changed, and the benefits are no longer appropriate.

But what should happen when a person overcomes their circumstances. That is, when their circumstances do not change, but the person pushes themselves to improve their own life? For example, should a new mother have her maternity benefits cut because she pushed herself to grow vegetables? Should we cut her maternity benefits as they are not necessary to feed her child? Or should we maintain her benefits, and applaud the improved life she can now offer her child?

Should benefits be means-tested? Or should they be based purely on how circumstances have impacted that individual?

The following describes how the Assured Income for the Severely Handicapped (AISH) benefit is cut when a disabled person overcomes their circumstances to enter the workforce at a low-paying job:

Currently, an individual’s employment income is only partially exempt from AISH adjustment. For example, single adults can keep the first $200 they earn each month, plus 25% of any amount over $200. This means an individual who works 20 hours/week for $10.00/hour would only be able to retain $366.67 of the $866.67 he/she would earn [per month]. When the cost (transportation, clothing, and/or childcare for example) and energy involved in joining the work force are considered, the motivation for seeking and obtaining employment is negligible.

-- Alberta Committee of Citizens with Disabilities Response to Low-Income Programs Review

Imagine a severely handicapped man who cleans tables at McDonalds. He has overcome his disability to find work in a fast-food restaurant. While this is simplistic work for most of us, it has presumably taken great effort on his part to achieve this. He will earn only a basic wage despite it taking all of his energy.

His disability has not changed, and society would pay him full benefits if he stayed at home. So should we applaud his effort to overcome his disability, or should we cut his benefits?

P.S. The AISH cut-off rates have increased significantly. In the above example, the individual would now keep around $633.37. However, once an individual goes over $1500/month in earnings, their benefits will be cut dollar for dollar. A person on AISH benefits would see no improvement in their life if they moved from a $1500/month job to a $2000/month job, because their AISH benefits would be cut exactly $500.

P.P.S. This blogpost is really more about how we think of social security and whether it is fair, not demanding changes to AISH.

House Selections

We just finished our first round of interior house selections, so I thought I'd post a short description of what we picked. All of this is subject to the total price quote we get soon. :)

Colours

• Most of the house uses a good quality "soft brown wood" laminate floor. This includes the kitchen, stairs, bedrooms, etc. See image or link.
• The kitchen cupboards are slightly darker and slightly redder than the floor. We want to keep the kitchen warm-feeling. See image to the right.
• The kitchen counter is laminate with a sandstone appearance. The edges will be squared and pointy. This is because we have a sink in a corner, and you cannot get a seamless laminate countertop with a rolled or bevelled edge. See image or link.
• Wet areas of the house use a slightly textured beige tile. This includes the entry area, the laundry/pantry/mudroom, and all bathrooms. We still need to finalise some bathroom selections.

Faucets and Sinks

• All kitchen faucets (three in total) are Kohler brand with pull-out head and a top-mounted lever handle. You can switch between a hose-like and a shower-like stream by using a simple mechanical switch located on the faucet head. See link.
• Most bathrooms have simple, practical, self-rimming sinks. I don't remember the brand. The master ensuite has the same brand and series of sink, but are more stylish with higher rims and a smaller area.
• Most bathroom sink faucets are Kohler brand and look like a scaled down version of the kitchen faucets. They are angled so the water should shoot towards the centre of the sink, something Emily was keen to have. See link.
• Most bathroom shower/tubs use Kohler faucets from the same series. The exact configuration depends on whether it is a shower or a shower/tub combination. See link.
• The master ensuite faucets are all Moen, but are not terribly different to the Kohler ones. The Moen faucets shoot more directly down which is better for the smaller ensuite sinks. See link.
• The master ensuite does not have a shower, but it will still have a hand-held shower head on the bath. We're trying to keep the ensuite nice and open-feeling. See link.
• The kids bathroom doubles as an upstairs laundry, with both a regular sink and a laundry sink on the one countertop. Normally the bathroom counter is 33 inches high and fairly shallow, and all other counters are 36 inches high and deeper. As a result, we'll have a neat little "step" where we transition from the bathroom half of the counter to the laundry half of the counter.

Baths and Toilets

• We have four bath/showers in the house, but almost every one is unique. The master ensuite has an acrylic 6 foot bath. The downstairs bathroom has a 5 foot fibreglass shower unit. The kid's bathroom is a 5 foot fibreglass shower/bath unit, and Timothy's is the same design but 5.5 foot long.
• We are unsure whether fibreglass or acrylic is the better way to go. We're also chasing up alternative brands and things. All we know for sure is that Timothy, the kids, and Grandma will have single-piece moulded units.
• We found a Caroma Caravelle dual-flush toilet. I always thought that Caroma was French for "flush" or something, because I grew up seeing "Caroma" on all the toilet buttons. I don't think I saw anything else until I traveled overseas. :)

Handles and Railings

• Most door handles will be levers. They will mostly be a brushed nickel or similar finish. Kitchen cabinets will have a nice-looking brushed silver straight handle. The bathrooms will have matching knobs.
• The stairs and upstairs areas will have simple metal poles (what are those called again), nice-looking wooden pillars at all the corners, and a simple wood railing. The pillars and railing will be painted, but we might need to reassess once all the pricing comes in. A lot of the rest of the house uses stained wood.
• Interior doors will look a little like the kitchen cabinets with a classic grooved appearance.

Lessons Learned

• Faucets cost a lot. Much more than you expect.
• Plumbing in Edmonton cannot go along an exterior wall. Makes sense to stop them from bursting.
• If you visit a hotel it seems they all have those single-handle controls for the showers. You just turn the handle until it changes from cold water to hot water, and they don't let you control the pressure. It turns out that is because they use a special "anti-scald" valve that prevents sudden temperature changes caused by changes in pipe pressures. The salesperson hinted that they are close to being a legal requirement nowadays.
• Democratic selection of house colours does work. Just make sure you have 3 people voting. :)

Not Missing Meat

One of my co-workers is a strict vegetarian, which means I've ended up with the occasional shared vegetarian meal. A lot of the time his food actually tastes better than mine. Just recently I realised that: I don't actually enjoy the taste of meat very much

I mean, I love some Chicken Teriyaki or Curry Beef, but you could switch it with Tofu Teriyaki or Curry Vegetables and I would not notice. The meat adds nothing for me. Sauces and flavours are much more important.

Now during our recent vacation, Emily found us a free all-day buffet deal. The meat offerings at buffets always feel like a brick in your stomach, so I trialled a new diet:

• Vegetables, fruit, dairy, eggs, etc
• Seafood, excluding crab, lobster, oyster, etc
• Coffee and chocolate :)

This has been going quite well and I think I'll stick with this diet for a few weeks at least. The only exception is when Emily can't finish something, because I don't want to waste food. I'm not against eating meat, but it's just wasted if I order any for my meal.

Oh, and the exception to the exception is melons. I hate melons and won't eat them. :)

Las Vegas Trip

Emily and I just finished a quick trip down to Vegas. This is our last vacation before the baby arrives, so we went to see a bunch of shows that you probably don't want to take an infant to. Here's what we saw:

• The Lion King by Disney - Quite good, but the story is (naturally) the same as the movie so there's no surprises. The costumes are amazing, but some are mere skeletons which makes them a little freaky. Overall pretty good, but I wouldn't see it again.
• O by Cirque du Soleil - A water-based Cirque du Soleil show. We got front-row balcony seats so could look straight down in to the pool most of the time. Some of the show was very cool, but a lot was just synchronised swimming. Fewer circus acts than I expected, and our angle meant I spent a lot of time watching the "hidden" scuba divers at the bottom of the pool.
• Penn and Teller - A last-minute decision, and a very good one. Half the show is talking and comedy, but it's a lot more entertaining than the classic "magic" show. No magic capes or levitating girls, just very smooth magic tricks and a lot of humour. Well worth it.
• Zumanity by Cirque du Soleil - By far the most risque show that we saw (or will admit to!). This is an adults-only "sensual" Cirque in a small theatre. If the F-word, a cross-dressing presenter, partial nudity and the (brief) mention of various fetishes is too much for you, do NOT go to this show. But if you are awed by Cirque-level physique and skill, then this is very worth seeing. I think I saw more skill in Zumanity than I did in the more expensive O!
  Just to be clear, the vast majority of the audience were couples. And the grand climax was a slow dance and kiss by a 48-year-married couple, to absolutely massive applause. That should give some idea of how broad the show is.

Anyway, it was a good 5 nights in Vegas. No gambling, no drinking, just a lot of walking around taking it all in. :)