More Psychoanalysis

I have to admit, I like taking the occasional personality test, finding out more about myself, etc. Emily and I just went to a comedy/marriage seminar called "Laugh Your Way To A Better Marriage" and they highly recommended this "Flag Page" test. The idea of this test is not to pin down your skills or abilities, but rather what parts of your personality are important to you. Or alternatively, what kinds of criticisms would hurt you.

For example, the ability to entertain is not important to me. I wouldn't care if someone said "Your blogs are really boring to read". But if someone said "You need to think much more deeply about what you write"... well that would hurt a lot. The theory is that if a couple knows what kind of criticisms would hurt their partner, they can avoid them. They can instead try to encourage and support that side of their partner.

So my most treasured aspects of my personality are:

1. Sincere at Heart
2. Creative
3. Competent
4. Deep Thinker
5. Patient

Now I fully agree with this list. And no, it's not because I think it makes me sound awesome. I just think this is an accurate description of what I like or strive for most. And when you look closer you realise it's not all that fantastic.

For example, I really enjoy being able to do things well... but that also means I get frustrated and give up if I feel completely unskilled at something. If I'm learning to roller-blade and keep falling over, I won't just pick myself back up. I'll need a lot of support and encouragement to get over my own "incompetence".

Also, I treasure these attributes of my personality more than any others. I treasure these more than, say, being empathic to others, or keeping people happy, or being a good leader, or even listening to people. I care more about being creative and skilled than I do about the opinions of others! But hey, at least I do it all because I want to help (ie. sincere at heart)! :)

Anyway, this list also suggests I'd feel pretty hurt by comments like these below. And yes, I've received comments like these, and I have to admit that they do hurt a lot (or I flat out ignore the person from then onwards):

• "You're not compassionate" (yeah, I hear this sometimes)
• "You produce nothing really new" (can get this at work)
• "You have pretty average ability" (my greatest fear in life)
• "You need to think deeper" (common religious defense)
• "You're not waiting for me" (just tell me to wait?)

All in all, it's a pretty interesting test. I've even made the full results available if you want to browse through and see if you want to do the same test. It does cost $12.50, so it's not one of these free/cheap tests.

PS. This test says nothing about the kinds of people I like to hang around with. As they say, opposites often attract. There are aspects of Emily's personality which I utterly treasure... in her. :) But they are virtually non-existent in me, and I honestly feel better that way. This test really just shows what makes me feel good about myself. Now go and hassle Emily to post her results. ;)