My Pay Pal

Here's a challenge for you. Move country, and try to use your new credit card with Paypal. Oops, you can only have credit cards from one country. You have to close the PayPal account and reopen. Fair enough, except Paypal keeps noticing that you used an Australian credit card once, and so keeps identifying you as an Australian. Time to call the help desk:

Paypal: Can I have your phone number please?
Me: [gives phone number]
Paypal: Um, that doesn't seem to be working.
Me: I don't have a Paypal account. I'm trying to open a new one.
Paypal: OK, can you give me your email address?
Me: Sure. peter dot a dot harvey at gmail dot com.
Paypal: Uh, can you spell that for me?
Me: Sure. peter p e t e r dot a dot -
Paypal: p a t a r dot i dot -
Me: No no. p e for elephant t for terry e for elephant r for rhinocerous.
Paypal: b e t e r dot -
Me: No no. p!
Paypal: Oh, like p for peter?
Me: .... Yes, p for peter. That is the first word.
Paypal: OK.
Me: Then its dot a dot -
Paypal: Can you spell that please?
Me: ... It's the letter a, just under the letter q!
Paypal: I ... q ? (OH THE IRONY!)

After all this I found out an interesting nugget of information:

Paypal: We cannot reopen as there is a transaction with a different name.
Me: Sorry?
Paypal: There is a transaction with a name that is not yours.
Me: And?
Paypal: We cannot verify that you are that person.
Me: But I closed the account!
Paypal: This is not an account. This is a single transaction.
Me: So someone made a transaction using my email address?
Paypal: Yes. And I am not allowed to tell you their name.
Me: And I cannot tell you their name, and so cannot open my account?
Paypal: Yes.
Me: Is it [name of ex]?
Paypal: No. The surname is correct though.
Me: ... Is it [alternative name of ex]?
Paypal: No.
Me: ... Is it [name of cousin of ex]?
Paypal: No. But I can tell you the transactions if it would help.
Me: ... Go ahead.

Got it mostly sorted in the end. Apparently all 3 accounts are now closed, and I'll try opening a Canadian account later today.