Project Edmonton Continues

We've seriously narrowed our housing options down, and are now just creating different designs. We even have fly-through videos of our latest designs, all made with MyVirtualHouse.

We're focusing our efforts on a pie-shaped lot that has a lot of south-eastern exposure. We like it because the house won't be crammed in amongst other enormous houses.

We've also talked with friends and family, and used their feedback to guide us with even more designs. We're also speaking with a builder, and we took some of his ideas to produce the following:

If you can't see videos above, watch them here and here on YouTube. And if you have any opinions, feel free to leave them on Facebook or here. :)

Woodwick Candles for Timothy

So Timothy loves candles. Like really loves candles. Light a candle and he's happy. The same for campfires, and basically anything that burns. (It seems to run in the family, based on my experience with Emily...). So for Christmas, I bought him a few novel Woodwick Candles off eBay.

Woodwick Candles use a thin piece of wood instead of string as the wick. This results in a unique crackling sound while burning. The marketing claims it sounds like a "real fire". To be honest it sounds like a roaring bonfire.... heard through a mobile phone. Or perhaps a big pile of dry kindling going up. It's loud enough to be heard across a quiet room, but it's missing the deep sound of a real fire.

In any case, I was very happy with it and so was Tim. I'm writing this because he just came in to the room holding the one Woodwick and saying "tick-tock". That is Tim-speak for "candle" - it takes too much effort for him to pronounce "candle" properly. We're encouraging him to vocalise, and so if he asks for something we try to give it to him. And we have more than one Woodwick Candle, but if he knew he'd ask us to light all of them together... then blow them out and ask us to light them again. :)

On the topic of pronunciation... he has no problem with other words like dinosaur, ball, bubble, computer, ketchup, mein mein, and fan fan. "Candle" just seems to be one of the few words that he struggles with.

Thesis Paradox

I think it's pretty well known that humans are creatures of habit. We always want to return to the familiar, the things that we know, the life we understand. It's one reason why men marry wives who are like their mothers, and why some prisoners want to return to prison. And I think this is why it's so hard to finish a PhD thesis.

You see, a PhD student has been doing their thesis for years, and you start to develop a habit. "Doing the thesis" is a solid, predictable part of your life. Your lovers can come and go, you can move country or change jobs, but the thesis remains a constant presence in your life.

So when it comes time to "finish" the thesis, you start to worry. What is life going to be like when my thesis is done? Will that piece of paper fill the void it leaves in my life? When I finish, what will I have then? What will I do?

Of course, the obvious answer is "you will have the rest of your life". Once you're finished with your thesis, you'll be able to "anything that has nothing to do with your thesis". We should celebrate! But, when you think about it, this isn't a good answer at all. It leaves the PhD student with two options:

1. Quit doing your thesis, right now. Why bother finishing when that final piece of paper adds nothing to your life? You can quit the thesis right now, and go do something you enjoy.
2. Continue doing your thesis for eternity. It's a constant, it's been in your life for years, it's the evil that you know. It's comforting in a sick, twisted, masochistic way.

There is nothing in human nature that encourages a PhD student to finish their thesis. There's no impact on your life once you finish the thesis, with the exception of having that 'one daily constant' removed from your life. It's ridiculous.

In other news, I found a bug in my thesis code. Re-running all my experiments now. :P

Less Goods, More Services

I've been thinking about how we, as a society, consume and dispose of too much stuff. There's a reasonably good online video (sorry, don't have the link handy) that points out how we're taught to be "good little consumers". The rationale is that the economy will likely grind to a halt if people stop spending. We hear this mantra regularly - "we have to spend our way out of a recession", "buy locally made goods to keep the local economy strong", etc.

But then I started thinking. Why do we have to spend money on goods? Why not just spend it on services? Employment is a means of wealth redistribution, and so I know that it is far better for society and the economy to have maximum employment. But why does this "employment" have to mean more mining, more oil consumption, more pollution, etc?

I really want to reduce the amount of goods that I buy/use/dispose of, but still want to (a) reward myself for hard work and (b) keep money flowing through the economy. So instead of rewarding myself with more food, I could pay $10 for a quick shoulder massage. Instead of buying a new pair of shoes, I could pay someone to fix my old ones. If there are goods that can't be substituted by services, then I still have to buy them. But instead of rewarding myself with the latest electronics, I could get my bicycle tuned and go for a ride.

Just a thought I'm having.

More Psychoanalysis

I have to admit, I like taking the occasional personality test, finding out more about myself, etc. Emily and I just went to a comedy/marriage seminar called "Laugh Your Way To A Better Marriage" and they highly recommended this "Flag Page" test. The idea of this test is not to pin down your skills or abilities, but rather what parts of your personality are important to you. Or alternatively, what kinds of criticisms would hurt you.

For example, the ability to entertain is not important to me. I wouldn't care if someone said "Your blogs are really boring to read". But if someone said "You need to think much more deeply about what you write"... well that would hurt a lot. The theory is that if a couple knows what kind of criticisms would hurt their partner, they can avoid them. They can instead try to encourage and support that side of their partner.

So my most treasured aspects of my personality are:

1. Sincere at Heart
2. Creative
3. Competent
4. Deep Thinker
5. Patient

Now I fully agree with this list. And no, it's not because I think it makes me sound awesome. I just think this is an accurate description of what I like or strive for most. And when you look closer you realise it's not all that fantastic.

For example, I really enjoy being able to do things well... but that also means I get frustrated and give up if I feel completely unskilled at something. If I'm learning to roller-blade and keep falling over, I won't just pick myself back up. I'll need a lot of support and encouragement to get over my own "incompetence".

Also, I treasure these attributes of my personality more than any others. I treasure these more than, say, being empathic to others, or keeping people happy, or being a good leader, or even listening to people. I care more about being creative and skilled than I do about the opinions of others! But hey, at least I do it all because I want to help (ie. sincere at heart)! :)

Anyway, this list also suggests I'd feel pretty hurt by comments like these below. And yes, I've received comments like these, and I have to admit that they do hurt a lot (or I flat out ignore the person from then onwards):

• "You're not compassionate" (yeah, I hear this sometimes)
• "You produce nothing really new" (can get this at work)
• "You have pretty average ability" (my greatest fear in life)
• "You need to think deeper" (common religious defense)
• "You're not waiting for me" (just tell me to wait?)

All in all, it's a pretty interesting test. I've even made the full results available if you want to browse through and see if you want to do the same test. It does cost $12.50, so it's not one of these free/cheap tests.

PS. This test says nothing about the kinds of people I like to hang around with. As they say, opposites often attract. There are aspects of Emily's personality which I utterly treasure... in her. :) But they are virtually non-existent in me, and I honestly feel better that way. This test really just shows what makes me feel good about myself. Now go and hassle Emily to post her results. ;)

Stroller Shopping

We're looking at a range of transportation options for our baby. We're going through the various strollers, frontpacks, backpacks, carseats, etc. So far we've concluded:

• We will be taking public transport most of the time, or at least while we remain in Vancouver. A carseat would be a luxury that we might use if we catch a taxi. Not really a necessity.
• We would like a stroller that can fold up to something fairly compact and light. Everywhere we go, travelling or at home, we're short on space. Even when in use, a compact stroller is probably better for us. We not forced to fold up a stroller on Vancouver buses, but you don't want it to take up heaps of space either.
• We'd like a stroller where the baby can lie completely flat. This is necessary for newborns. Even if we don't put a newborn in the stroller, it can be an advantage for older children who want to nap.
• We'd like a stroller where the baby can face whoever is pushing it. Some studies show that having your baby facing towards you is better for their development. I don't think that either Emily or I will be staying home indefinitely so, even if the studies are wrong, it would be nice to have as much interaction as possible.
• We'd like it to be cheap. Our plan right now is to find a nice stroller by shopping in stores or online, then look for good deals on Craigslist or eBay. That means looking for stroller models which are a few years older.
• We're also considering non-stroller options like the little baby carriers or slings you wear on the front. Apparently the slings are better for really small babies, and the midwife looked at the two of us and said "you two are probably not going to have a really big baby". :) We looked at the baby backpack things from MEC, but I don't think we're active enough to use that.

If anyone has opinions on stroller choices, feel free to comment. :) Emily has probably done the most research so far - I'm just getting started. A few of my favourites so far (most are way too expensive to buy new, but second-hand...):

• Graco Metrolite
• Chicco Cortina
• Graco Quattro Tour
• Peg Perego Pliko P3 Classico

Project Edmonton

House 4B

Emily and I are considering our future living options. We almost certainly will settle in Edmonton, Alberta, and we will probably be living in a house with Emily's mother, brother, and grandmother. That's where things get complicated...

First off, we all need to be living either within the same building, or extremely close to each other.

• The responsibility of overseeing Timothy's care will eventually be ours, and we can only do that if we are very close by. We don't want to place Timothy in an institution or a group home, as he is sufficiently high-functioning that he learns from the people he is with. In close contact with a real home environment, he can learn social skills. In a group home environment, he can learn to bite or scream.
• Emily's is a tight-knit family. While the extended family is huge, the immediate family is very small. We have always worked under the assumption that they would be living nearby, if not in the same residence. Yes, that means there will be 4 generations living under one roof.

However, we need to balance this with the need for independence:

• Emily and I would like to be able live and raise our family without necessarily involving other family.
• Emily's mother and grandmother can hopefully chase their own interests, without needing to worry about children and grandchildren all the time.
• Timothy must be living in an independent suite, else he will not qualify for funding. While we want to oversee his care, and spend time with him, the minute-by-minute caring is beyond our abilities.

That leaves us with a rather difficult housing situation. We need a house with:

• Separate space for me, Emily, and children.
• Separate space for Timothy.
• Separate space for Stella and Grandma Mak.
• Ground-floor access for Grandma.
• Three covered car parking spaces.
• Adequate (but not excessive) interior space.
• Support our family as the residents change over the next 40 years.
• Possible to lease out parts at times when there are fewer residents.
• Built on a fairly ordinary residential site, so limited in size.
• Preferably under $600k, so not too extravagant

Our current idea is a bi-level or two-story house. The bottom floor consists of two independent suites with both internal and external access. The suites can be reconfigured in a couple of ways to create larger or smaller suites. It should also be possible to access Timothy's suite from the other in case of emergency or any issues. The livable floorspace should be under 1500sqft per floor, as anything larger starts to turn into a monster.

Being the geeks that we are, we've started using "The Sims 2" to consider house designs. :) By correlating Sims objects to real-world ones, I estimate that each square is about 3 feet by 3 feet in size, so we can even get a rough estimate of square footage.

The ground floor is obviously the most complex and where we've put most of our effort. We've just finished and uploaded our best design so far in a Picasa Web Album. Take a look, and see if you can maybe design anything better. This design is about 2500-2700sqft. :)

Perceiving Depth And Other Things

I perceive the world by using my own "mental model". Everyone does this, it's nothing special, but each model is different. For example, I know that my default mental model supports object relationships (eg. the chair is on the floor), body language (eg. the person is standing defensively), implications of decisions, etc. Most of the things I need to be able to function in my daily life.

However, this mental model does not actually include physical "space" or "depth". That information is discarded. I know that the chair is behind the desk, but that is all. I would have to look at the room again to tell you how big of a gap there is between the chair and the desk.

I've noticed this in the past, but noticed it much more on our recent trip. Emily was driving and so I had ample time to experiment with a few different mental models. For example, my normal mental model allows me to estimate the time until we pass an oncoming car. I can tell that a forest is densely packed with trees or not. I can tell when we are driving too quickly around a corner because I push too hard against the seat.

But with a bit of focus, I can switch to a mental model purely in terms of space. When using that model, I can tell you the number of car lengths between us and the surrounding cars. I can estimate the ratio between tree thickness and tree spacing - much greater physical detail than I normally work with. And I will think more about the tire grip on each corner, rather than the force I feel in my chair. It's a more accurate mental model of the physical world.

I feel this is something I should experiment with in the future. At the very least, it enhances certain physical experiences (eg. I can really feel the speed and turns of a rollercoaster, instead of just noting the time it takes to complete a loop or roll).

It may even help with my memory. I tend to find that "irrelevant" details are excluded from my default mental model, and so they are never included in my memory. I can notice that someone is upset or hurt, or needs help with something... but their name seems to be irrelevant. With a bit of effort, I might be able to change my mental model to accommodate this "irrelevant" information.

Of course, no single mental model will work in all situations. The "space" mental model does not help me determine a person's mood. I can tell you the length of their forearm in comparison to their thigh, and that their arms are currently across their chest with no space in between. However, the "space" mental model does not tell me that this is a defensive posture and that the person may be upset with something...

Wedding Countdown

Emily and I are now in Edmonton to do final preparations. I have to admit, the reality of "our wedding" has just hit me, and I'm getting so excited I'm feeling sick. My stomach has felt unsettled since Thursday night when we were packing all the stuff we'll need from Vancouver. Right now, my only hope is that I can stay grounded enough to help Emily this week, and to not scream "woot!" right after the vows. :)

Sometimes I imagine what it will be like to see Emily, in her dress, coming down the aisle. But I don't think I can possible describe how I feel. The best description is probably just "YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!!". I think I'll want to freeze everything right in that instance and just enjoy it forever. :D

P.S. Listen really closely to the song when she walks down the aisle. It's a secret for now, so if you know it, don't tell anyone. :P If she's not running down the aisle, the song should repeat twice so you'll have time to listen to it. We think it's absolutely perfect.

Mah Jongg

When I was growing up, my friend and I used to play with a mah-jongg set. From what I remember, Dad had bought it while travelling. We never knew how to play real Mahjongg, but we could play always Mahjongg Solitaire.

Fast forward to now. My parents went on a trip to China and bought me a small, traditional Mahjongg set. I'd never opened it, but when Emily's Poh-poh (grandmother) visited, we pulled it out and learned how to play.

Despite all the strange concepts like "breaking the wall" and "poong", Mahjongg is not that different from a regular game of cards. Here's a quick mapping from Mahjongg to cards:

The deck of 144 tiles can be split into three groups...

• There are 3 suits ("stones", "bamboo", and "characters"). Each suit runs from 1 through 9. There are 4 complete copies of each suit, giving a total of 108 regular tiles.
• There are 7 specials ("north", "south", "east", "west", "red", "green" and "white"). Again there are 4 copies of each special tile, giving a total of 28 special tiles.
• Finally, there are 8 useless tiles (these have varying depictions of flowers, a cat, a man, etc). These serve almost no purpose whatsoever, but do have some impact on your final score. If you're scoring...

Shuffling and cutting the deck...

• Take all the tiles and flip them over so their faces are down. Swirl them around on the table. Make as much noise as you can. No idea why, but it's fun. :)
• Without flipping the tiles over, start building 4 "walls". Each wall should be 2 tiles high and 18 tiles wide.
• Someone rolls a dice. The number on the dice determines where the wall will be "broken". This is just the same as cutting a deck of cards.
• Deal out tiles to each player. Each player takes a group of 4 tiles out of the breach in the wall. This is repeated 3 times, so everyone has 12 tiles. Then the person who rolled the dice takes 2 more tiles, and everyone else takes 1.

Basic play...

• The person who has 14 tiles starts the game. They throw one of their tiles into the middle, face up. Play than proceeds to the next player on their right.
• Each player's turn is basically making a choice. They can take a fresh tile from the breach in the wall (just like taking another card from the deck), or they pick up the scrap tile that was just thrown out (called chowing, or eating).
• The goal is to organise your hand into 4 groups of three, and 1 pair. A "group of three" is either a straight of matching suit, or any three identical tiles. A pair is just a pair of identical tiles.
• If you fail to achieve the goal in your turn, you must throw out a tile into the middle and play proceeds to the next player on your right.

Then it gets weird...

• Immediately after a player throws a tile into the middle, there is a brief game of 'snap' or 'poong'.
• Any player who can use that tile to form a group of three identical tiles can cry "poong!" and grab the tile. They then form their group of three, and lie them down face-up on the table to prove they weren't lying. Assuming they haven't completed their hand yet, they must then throw out a tile in the middle and play proceeds to the next player on their right.
• In some obscure cases, there can be two people calling "poong!" at the same time. If one of those players can use the tile to complete their hand, then they get that tile. If both players can use the tile to complete their hand (yes, it can happen), then it is given to the one who's turn it would have been soonest.

Strategy...

• It is fairly easy to get most of the way to the goal. Simple chowing or taking from the wall will do this. The trick is to structure your hand to maximise the chance of 'poong' at the end of the game. Most games are won with a final poong...
• Pairs are important. You can't poong to form a straight, only triples! If you have a few pairs in your hand, you just have to wait for any of those tiles to appear and you can call poong...
• Be prepared to throw out things you were working on. If you have "1 bamboo" and "2 bamboo", and most of the "3 bamboo" tiles are already discarded in the middle, you need to strongly consider getting rid of those tiles. The odds of you finding the last remaining "3 bamboo" tile is pretty small...

Anyway, that's it. :) I'll probably get abused by Mah Jongg experts, but this should explain most of it. Whenever we have visitors, I think we'll have to pull this out. :)

Self-Isolating

Something I've noticed over the years, and again more recently, is that my interests and my way of thinking are a bit odd. In social situations, I can rarely find common ground with other people. For example:

• Someone might want to discuss whether the city should install traffic lights at a certain intersection. I'm only interested in the meta-question: what is the best rule-set for determining where traffic lights should go, and what pattern they should use? Does anyone else really want to spend 15 minutes discussing traffic flows?
• Given my Australian background, people expect me to have an interest in rugby, cricket, and drinking beer. I'm expected to know the rules for AFL. I don't. I have an interest in flying stunt kites and drinking Jones soda.
• I find it relaxing to develop software. When I get stressed, I turn on the computer and start coding. Even many of my workmates find this odd, and it probably is.
• I attend a Christian church, and a Christian "small group", yet I am adamantly not Christian. I struggle to find anyone else who understands this.
• I get frustrated by TV and books that leave the audience in suspense. I'll read the synopsis from Wikipedia, understand the point the writer was trying to make, and then stop.
• On most Saturday nights I go for a social swim, but there are very few people in my age group or who are at the same point in life. Why am I there? I don't even know.

Maybe I've got it all wrong... but a lot of what I do and think seems to set me apart from the people around me, or at least is different from their expectations. I don't try to be odd (yes, I've known others who try to be eccentric, try to be different). I know that I want to be part of a group, but I struggle to find somewhere that would welcome me and where I really fit.

Anyway, this is just a question I'm asking myself. What should I be doing differently? What should I change so that I'm not self-isolating? Should I change at all?

Thesis Progress

We've been very busy here in Vancouver. Wedding preparations, moving stuff, building stuff, meeting people, inspecting houses (more on that later). Work has also been very busy with some pretty neat developments, though still light on customers. In general, I've been a pretty happy camel.

But today I was reminded about my thesis work, and it felt like the last straw. My mood went from "decent" straight to "crap". The thesis is a rather large chunk of work, and I'm really not looking forward to doing any of it. Still, I got home and got into it.

I've prepared a long email for one of my reviewers, asking questions and checking some details. I will need to edit it tomorrow before sending; I don't want my mood seeping through into the email. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day so I can edit it with a clear head. I'm hoping to get a quick response, and avoid doing a whole heap of work in the process. :)

In other news, I've been playing Mah Jongg while Stella and Grandma Mak are visiting. I'm picking up some random Chinese words, like "miao miao" (cat) and "shee-la" (you lose!). I'm also winning more often than I should be. ;) Mah Jongg is all about guess-timating probabilities, and I'm using that to my advantage. One day I'll sit down and work out whether the 5-valued tiles are really the best ones to have...

Anyway, off to bed. We've got a lot of Australian wedding invites to send out in the next few days. We'll see whether they get done tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after... Or whether the thesis "poongs" my time away...

Thesis Results Are In

... and I am required to resubmit the thesis in revised form for examination after a suitable period of study and/or research.

I can't say that I'm particularly surprised, but it is also a pain. Technically, all the original work was fine. However, there are insufficient comparisons to existing algorithms. Specifically, the reviewers want to see CPU time results, and want comparisons to backtracking algorithms that use variable reordering. My thesis only includes algorithms and comparisons that were state-of-the-art when I wrote it...

On the plus side, I'm not getting the worst possible assessment. Here is the list of possible assessments I could have received (I got the 3rd assessment from one reviewer, and the 5th one from the other):

1. Acceptable, no changes.
2. Minor revisions, checked by head of postgrad studies.
3. Major revisions, checked by head of postgrad studies.
4. Major revisions, checked by examiners.
5. Major revisions, re-review by examiners.
6. Oral examination to check you know your stuff.
7. Accepted, for Masters.
8. Revise and resubmit, for Masters.
9. Fail.

Now I just need to decide on a time for me to restart thesis work. As I have to reimplement a bunch of algorithms, I think I might port all development over to Java and run them on Emily's beast of a computer. :)

Update: Trying to list out the positives... They didn't criticise the rather "unique" approach of my literature review. (I'd been having nightmares that they'd toss the thesis out for that chapter.) They appreciated the original research component. They liked the intuitive explanations. The hypertree decomposition work wasn't integrated into the thesis, but only small changes are required. All I need to do is write up a few more algorithms and run a new round of experiments. My algorithm doesn't even have to be better than the other algorithms. I just have to compare it. All in all, things could have been a lot worse.

Mission

It's been a while since I've blogged. I keep waiting for something important to break this silence. I've now found it.

I was raised to believe that we should give what we can, what is in our capacity. The people I most want to imitate are those who give out more than they keep for themselves. There are people like this throughout my family (immediate and extended), Emily's family, and some I know abroad. Jane and Daniel Toole have been especial inspirations for me. They've been living in Ethiopia for a while now, with their own children, doing what they can to help the kids there. I barely dare to read their emails as I must contrast my life with theirs.

There are common religious teachings like "I have been filled up so that I can be emptied again". Or this all-time favourite of mine from Anthony de Mello:

A man walking through the forest saw a fox that had lost its legs and wondered how it lived. Then he saw a tiger come with game in its mouth. The tiger had his fill and left the rest for the fox.

The next day too God sent, the tiger to feed the fox. The man began to wonder at God’s greatness and thought. “I too shall lie in a corner trusting the Lord to give me all I need.

He did this for a month, and was almost at death’s door when he heard a Voice that said, “O you who are on the path of error, open your eyes to the Truth! Imitate the tiger not the fox.”

To be clear, I don't believe in "responsibilities" or "directions" passed to us by God. Not at all. But I still believe that I should give what is in my capacity. Have I done this? Hell no. I do give... but there is still a large gap between "what I give" and "what I can easily give". I am not the fox, but I feel I am just a shadow of the tiger.

I have wrestled with the question: should I go abroad myself, or should I try to fund others? I try to have money spare for good causes. If I go abroad myself, to volunteer in places which need help, I would not have that money spare. And what am I able to do anyway? I have occasional wrist and back pain. I burn easily. I've used computers all my life. What use could I be?

We will find out. Before I reach 31 years old, Emily and I are planning to go on a few missions trips. Preferably something not associated with the church. We will try something short first - a 2-4 week post offering assistance wherever. After that, we will try something longer - a 3-6 month post trying to do something more.

Whatever we do, it must be completed before we start having children of our own. I know Jane and Daniel had the strength to raise their children abroad, but I know I do not have that strength. And I expect we will start managing Timothy's care in a few years, and our first priority is to him.

This is an important decision for me. Not something I take lightly. But something I feel I need to do.

Mario Kart Has Windmills

We're in Edmonton at the moment, making various pre-wedding preparations. It's also a chance to spend time with Timothy (he's my best man, by the way :).

We recently purchased a copy of Mario Kart for the Wii and brought it with us. He's enjoyed driving games in the past and we wanted to see if he would enjoy this one. Turns out that he can drive reasonably well until one specific point in the track. The point with a windmill...

Timothy has a fascination with things that spin, and immediately spotted this windmill off the side of the Moo Moo Meadows track. He refuses to drive past, and keeps turning his kart around to look at it. The plus side to this? It reinforces how the controls work as he cannot find the windmill without correct steering. :)

We also brought Excite Truck, another driving game. It's a lot faster than Mario Kart, and Timothy has a lot more accidents (eg. crashing into trees, falling off cliffs, etc). He's been laughing as he plays this one simply because of the animations as his truck crashes into things, flies through the air, or sinks beneath the water. We'll try with both of these games tomorrow. :)

Winter Is Over

Vancouver's winter is finally over, and I finally feel like blogging again.

First off, Emily has been doing some awesome work on the wedding front. Most of the Canadian invites have been made, and we now need to start on the Australia invites. We've also started a new blog to document the wedding details. The address is emphinity.blogspot.com, and it should have a bit more content by the time the invites arrive in mailboxes. We may end up reusing that blog for "family" stuff too, especially once we have kids and such. No, there's no children on the way yet, but there certainly will be eventually. :)

Emily's Grandma (Mak side of the family) has been visiting Vancouver for almost 3 weeks now. She's here to see the cherry blossoms and enjoy our weather. As I type this blog, she's frying up dinner in the kitchen - probably onions because my eyes are watering.

The three of us have been living at my apartment and it's been surprisingly good fun. Emily and I have learned how to play Mah Jongg (just the basics, not the complicated scoring mechanism), and we play it every few nights.

We've also rearranged my apartment in preparation for when Emily eventually moves in. The living area is now almost entirely open space, with just some vertical glass shelving on the walls, and a sofa/futon in one corner. We've hosted a couple of "small group" sessions here. That was the first really large gathering at my apartment since... well... ever. I'm not sure how to feel about that... :)

Anyway, sounds like dinner is almost ready. I need to wake Emily and see what I can help with.

Wordle Picture

This is the result of applying Wordle to my blog. I imagine that the topics will change overtime. I need to post some more stuff about snowboarding, for example. :)

Update: The results of applying to Emily's blog, and to Timothy's blog. See if you can pick which belongs to who.

Small Church Groups

Tenth Alliance Church has become a very good spiritual 'anchor' for us. Emily and I attend the second service almost every Sunday morning. At lunch, we will often critically analyse the sermon, checking for internal consistency and trying to better grasp it's meaning. As a deist I naturally emphasis logic and rational thinking, so I really enjoy these discussions. I feel that they can only strengthen Emily in her faith.

We have also joined a 'small group' as part of the church. A 'small group' is a collection of similarly-minded (ie. Christian) people who get together, once a week, to discuss issues of faith. Some small groups focus on 'worship', but thankfully our group's focus is on improved understanding of Christian faith and teachings.

We met for the first time last night. There were about 10 people in total, and we spent 2 hours discussing some surprisingly deep questions about faith. I heard a lot of very good arguments and some surprising points-of-view from everyone.

That said, Emily and I had to be careful to not dominate the discussion! We've spent a lot of time discussing 'faith', so our (sometimes opposing!) answers came to us very easily. There were some topics that I had to tiptoe around, such as whether non-Christians would go to heaven. Emily, of course, did not need to tiptoe and dove straight in. :)

At the end of the 2 hours, I spoke to the group and revealed that I was not in fact a Christian. I am primarily there to (a) stay in touch with Emily's faith and (b) to support Emily's journey by critically analysing and helping her reach conclusions. I similarly hoped to simply assist the group in their discussions. Indeed, an open and communicative group may help me reach some new conclusions of my own. I asked the group if they would be willing to accept my participation, and thankfully they all said yes.

We'll be committing to the group for Tuesday nights for the next 3 months. Small groups can be difficult sometimes, because they are much more intimate than a regular church setting. That said, I was very impressed with the people I met last night, and have a feeling this will be very good for Emily, and possibly for me. :)

P.S. I am very stuck in my deism. For those hoping that this experience will encourage me to become Christian, I am sorry but I will disappoint. ;)

Magic Kingdom

For Emily and I, the Magic Kingdom was just a (slightly poorer) clone of DisneyLand in California. But for Timothy, the Magic Kingdom was probably the highlight of the trip. There were far more 'safe' rides in this park than any other. There was also a large number of parades, shows, fireworks, and such. I'll try to describe some of the highlights:

Cars

We have been training Timothy to drive on the Wii. We even have a few steering wheel adapters for the Wii remote to make it more accessible. The local 'speedway' was an obvious ride choice.

The 'speedway' is very simple. Each car is an underpowered go-kart with oversized spring bumpers, and is constrained by a single metal rail underneath. The rail prevents you from leaving your assigned lane, but you can still steer left/right by about half-a-metre. Collisions with the car in front are discouraged, but I managed to give Emily a small 'tap' from behind almost every time. :)

If you weren't careful you would start bouncing left-right-left-right off the rail under the car. It was actually quite a challenge to drive without ever touching that rail. Timothy was actually very good at driving and his passengers always enjoyed a smooth ride. The same cannot be said for some other drivers in our group. :)

I've uploaded a number of photos of Timothy driving, along with all the other rides, so take a look. :)

Dum-Dum-Jiun

As a general rule, anything that spun around ("dum-dum-jiun" in Cantonese) was going to be an easy choice for Tim. We only had "Red Fish Blue Fish" at Universal Studios, but were spoiled for choice at Magic Kingdom with both the Dumbo ride and Aladdin's Flying Carpet. They are the same basic concept; you sit side-by-side and use joysticks to tilt, raise, or lower your carriage while the machine spins around. In the case of Aladdin's Flying Carpets, large camel statues would occasionally spit water at you. On a hot day it was just perfect.

Just a few metres away was the classic horse carousel, ensuring that Timothy never had to go too far to find another ride. At times he became known on-sight to the staff, simply because he was on these rides so often. A number of times we would ride as a whole group, but more often we would let Timothy ride on his own or with a partner. He even became quite good at mounting the horse, a rather difficult task even for me.

Now, the Orbiter ride is a special kind of dum-dum-jiun. It is placed 3 stories up in the air, spins a lot faster, and I believe goes much higher than similar rides. It's more than enough to trigger a fear of heights, if you have such a thing... Watching from the ground, Emily and I couldn't work out whether Timothy was happy or scared. Perhaps it was both. Whatever his initial impressions, Emily and Tim were more than happy to ride it again and again. :)

Tea Cups

What can I say? "You shall have no other ride before this one"? In general, our pattern was "go to ride A, go to tea cups, go to ride B, go to tea cups, ...". I've never seen Timothy so happy as he was on this one ride. And he rode it so many times...

If Emily and I ever needed to run off to a larger ride, we would leave Timothy and Stella at the tea cups because we knew he would not tire of it. During one of these times, a dog turned up while Timothy had been waiting for his turn. Now, Timothy has a mortal fear of dogs; as a rule, he will tense at the sight of a dog, and will run if it comes anywhere near him. Tea Cups is apparently an exception to this rule. Seemingly nothing will discourage Tim from this ride. And there was nothing he enjoyed more. Check out the video on the right for proof. :D

Parades

I think we managed to see every parade there was. My favourite parade, though we didn't get very close to it, would have to be the Block Party. While most of the parades are simply floats driving past, this one has a "party on wheels" atmosphere. The floats stop at regular intervals, do a show and dance, some audience interaction, and then continue on. If you really want to enjoy a parade, make sure you see this one. Mind you, if you like Eeyore like I do, you want to see the others too.

I've put a sample of parade photos up online. I even have a special album for the Karabar High School Marching Band (yes, from Queanbeyan Australia, no they weren't lost). If you'd like a link, send me an email. :)

Fireworks

We spent much of December 30th camped in the castle courtyard watching parades, but also to watch the nightly fireworks. As a bonus (planned by mastermind Emily well in advance) we also got to see the the rehearsal for the incredible New Years Eve fireworks show. As the technicians run the fireworks every night, they now have their shows down to a science. The worst bit for me was just trying to take a photo that would do it justice! I've put the good photos up as an album.

DisneyCloned

Unfortunately, the majority of Magic Kingdom is simply a clone of DisneyLand in California. Emily and I had already ridden most of the rides and, to be honest, the DisneyLand versions are better despite their age.

For example, Space Mountain at DisneyLand is an awesome, pitch black, indoor roller-coaster. At the Magic Kingdom, the whole room was faintly lit and the ride itself has been reduced to a painful mouse-trap design. At DisneyLand we rode Space Mountain at least three times, and I got a rush every time. At Magic Kingdom we rode it once, I was bored, and wanted to get back to tea cups. Other rides suffered similarly. While Magic Kingdom is great of itself, it is merely a reflection of DisneyLand.

Animal Kingdom

Animal Kingdom was a huge surprise for us. So many people tell us "you could spend half-a-day maximum", and I'm quite sure some people could do it all in half-a-day. We spent the whole day and loved it.

Real Live Animals

Animal Kingdom is the largest Disney theme park, but only because it contains a large African-themed wildlife zone. Our first ride of the day was on an open 'safari' truck to see the animals. I happen to love seeing animals of all types, so this was a real treat for me. At one point a rhinoceraus was actually walking in front of our truck, halting the ride until it moved on. At other times we could clearly see elephants, giraffes, and all manner of horned beasts. As we arrived at the park relatively early in the morning, we were able to take the safari trip twice!

Much of Animal Kingdom is devoted to walking trails and animal exhibits. There are a number of aviaries, habitats for tigers and gorillas, climbing areas for monkeys, etc. There was a whole area devoted to bats, though I was the only one of our group who actually went to see them. A number of people commented on how disgusting the bats were, but I found them quite cute.

I've posted the best of the animal photos as an album on Picasa.

Mythical Creatures

Not everything in Animal Kingdom is related to real animals though. For example, Disney has created a very cool yeti-themed roller coaster. Expedition Everest is basically a train ride up and through the mountains, sabotaged by yetis. There is a lot of very fast backwards and forwards action and was a huge amount of fun. It actually ranks as one of the better roller coasters in the world, despite never going upside down!

I have also read rumours saying that more mythical-themed rides had been planned, but thanks to budget overruns they were cancelled. The Imagineers who had worked on those rides were laid off... and were then hired by Universal to build Dueling Dragons. :D

All Done

After our experience at Universal Studios we were very careful in selecting rides for Timothy. We were a bit surprised when he chose Primal Whirl - a miniature rollercoaster ride that spins as it goes - but he seemed very confident. On the first corner our car began spinning, Timothy was thrown against me, and he was quite happy. On the second corner I was thrown against him... and he wasn't too happy with that. I had to wrap my arm around him to try and avoid further impacts.

Once we reached the top of the first hill Timothy was already saying "all done"; a code phrase that means he is finished and wants to do something else. Of course, the ride wasn't "all done" with us yet. We bolstered him by clapping and whooping after every spin or drop, attempting to convince him this was 'fun'. I honestly think he enjoyed it, but when the ride ended he repeated again "all done, all done" and quickly got out. It was incredibly cute, but more importantly we had now identified an upper-bound on the rides Timothy would enjoy. :)

Universal Studios

Last year we flew to Australia for a nice relaxed summer Christmas with my famiy. This year we went to Universal Studios and Disney World with Emily's family. This was a fantastic treat for everyone involved. :)

Now, the Christmas/NYE holidays is the busiest period of the year for the Orlando theme parks. To avoid the crowds, we spent December 26 - 28 at Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure (two parks run by the same company). It was such a huge trip I will have to talk about Disney World in a later post:

First Times

Timothy likes to play Elebits at home on the Wii. We figured that he would enjoy the "Men In Black Alien Attack" ride. He seemed to have mixed feelings about the ride, probably because there was so much happening. Anyway, our first ride through resulted in this awesome photo. Notice who still has her wits about her and is shooting the monster in front of us... :) We now have this as a print and I need to get it properly framed.

We also rode The Simpsons ride, the Jurassic Park ride, a Jaws-themed river cruise, and plenty of others. Few of them were worth repeating, and unfortunately they started scaring Timothy. By the third day Timothy would refuse to get on a ride that he couldn't first see for himself.

We established some new rules: we would take Timothy on rides that (a) he could see for himself and (b) he would point at and say 'yes'. Using these rules meant we rode much 'safer' rides like the merry-go-round and the "One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish" ride in Seuss Land. We still did manage to get him on a small kids roller coaster twice, but at least he would trust us, and he knew that he had control over what rides he went on. This strategy would work wonderfully in Disney World, though with some amusing results.

Dueling Dragons

We had to spend some time on rides that Emily and I would enjoy, and that led us to Dueling Dragons. I have never been on a roller-coaster that I loved so much, both for the feeling of safety and the sheer exhilaration of the ride. You are always pushed backwards or downwards into your seat thanks to the sheer number of loops and corkscrews. It is so smooth that your head never touches the side of the headrest, and you almost never need the seat restraints.

It is named 'Dueling Dragons' because it is actually two interlocking rollercoasters representing a Fire Dragon and an Ice Dragon. The 'dragons' launch together and are timed so that there are several near-misses, including a simultaneous inverted loop which brings your feet within a metre of the other people. Watching vides of the ride, I think you'll agree that Dueling Dragons is far superior to the The Incredible Hulk coaster at the same theme park.

In total, we rode Dueling Dragons six times (three times on each dragon). Most of that occured in just one night (I insisted we come back after one of our Disney World days :). We arrived just when most people were leaving the park and so we could ride multiple times very quickly. The first four times we rode somewhere in the middle of the dragon and I would whoop the whole time. Emily suggested that, for the last two rides, we sit the front of each dragon. On those times I didn't make a single sound; my mouth just opened and that was all I could manage. Definitely worth it. :)

Blue Man Group

Timothy loves music, and Emily was keen to take us all to see the Blue Man Group show at their permanent home next to Universal Studios. The entrance to the theatre looked too much like a ride, and so it took us a good 20-30 minutes to 'coax' Timothy inside and take his seat. I don't know what to say about the show except it was amazing. There was unfortunately a lot less music than we expected, but there was plenty of colourful showmanship, audience participation, and glowing reams of toilet paper.

I am not joking about the toilet paper either. Near the end of the show they started alternating between black lights and strobe lights, and then covered the audience in huge reams of a soft paper. The audience had to just keep pulling the paper over their heads until it reached the front of the stage. For a few seconds, Timothy was scared of these piles of 'stuff' coming over him, but he very quickly got the idea and absolutely loved it. I've included some photos here that I've pulled from other sites.

That's all I can say about Universal Studios. At least, all I can say in one blog. I'll have to do a couple of posts about Disney World next. :)

Working With Timothy

Imagine you're walking through a swinging door and a stranger is following behind you. You would probably pause for a second and hold the door until the stranger can reach it. If that person has a stroller, you might even hold it until they pass through. If they are in a wheelchair, you would almost certainly hold the door. And you would expect a nod and a maybe a "thank you".

In most such situations, we know how to offer assistance, we know how to react, and we know what to expect in response. But if you were walking with someone like Timothy it's sometimes unclear what to do. Should you hold it until he walks through? Hold it open long enough for him to reach it? What do you do if he grabs your arm when walking through? If he stops halfway through the door, is it because he is waiting for you to move? Or because he just walks slowly?

One of the biggest impediments for new people (like myself) when interacting with a mentally disabled person is "the unknown". We just don't know the rules of interaction. We can't tell when they are bored or interested. We don't know if they are running in the mall because they are scared, or because they like Christmas lights, or because they desperately need the toilet. We don't know whether we should stop him/her from running, or just keep up until they stop. We don't know if talking will help or confuse them. Without any past experience to aid us, our mind conjures up unfounded ideas like "possibly violent". The truth is, a young child will do more in a few minutes than someone like Timothy would ever do in his life.

Timothy's long-term care hinges on his ability to function in a social setting. Fears of "the unknown" stop people from interacting with him, and this in turn reduces his chance of learning socially acceptable behaviours.

The following is a list of things I've noted from my time with Timothy. I think it is better to tell people of this list, and hope more people become willing interact with him:

Timothy does have problem solving skills. He just needs more time.

• If he has an object in each hand and needs to operate something (eg. light switch), he can slowly juggle until both objects are in one hand.
• If the door has a separate deadlock, he will try flipping the lock until he can open the door. He might even manage a spring-loaded deadlock, but we've never tried.
• He might look around for assistance, but if none is offered he will keep trying.

Timothy can understand what you want, as long as it is made clear.

• If you hold out a bag and say "Timothy, I need you to carry this for me." he will likely take the bag and hold it for you.
• If he sits in the middle of a bench and you say "Tim, I'd like to sit down. Please move all the way to the end." he will likely move over.
• Your body language doesn't need to be exaggerated, but should match what you are saying. If you say "Timothy, please sit on that bench over there." without gesturing at the bench or looking at Timothy, he probably won't understand what you want.

Timothy does enjoy human contact just like the rest of us.

• I once saw an Aunt walk up behind Timothy, cover his eyes from behind, and say something. Timothy immediately had a big smile on his face and turned around to see who it was.
• If you touch Timothy's nose or tap him on the forehead, he will likely not be very happy. Then again, would you? :)
• Timothy will give and receive kisses on the cheek from people he knows and likes. At DisneyWorld he was very happy to give Stella and Emily kisses. He had a shy and awkward smile when it was my turn for a kiss though. :)
• Timothy likes to play games with others. He will imitate you if you take the time to show him. At DisneyWorld we went swimming and he quickly wanted to get out of the pool. However, if we started diving to collect rocks from the bottom of the pool, he would join in and have a great time.

Timothy likes certain music, certain textures, and anything that spins or lights up.

• Timothy likes a broad range of musical styles. "Silent Night" is a favourite, but didgeridoo music is popular too. He can become very agitated by music videos so we try to avoid those.
• Timothy might reach out to touch interesting textures, particularly on clothes. Funnily, he might even say "mine" as he is touching the print on your shirt. This is because everyone responds with "Timothy! That is mine! Don't touch!". :)
• Timothy will often look for fans in the area. I believe he knows the word "fan" in two languages! They capture his attention, even if they're not spinning. He also likes flashing Christmas lights.

Most importantly, Timothy needs to spend time with other people. The more experience he has of social situations, the better his life will be. Simply having people approach him, talk with him, and interact with him is incredibly valuable.

And this list I've created and can never include the things we don't know. New experiences can always lead to great things for Timothy. For example, when we went camping we found that Timothy really enjoyed walking up on rocks. Perhaps it is the simple challenge of it? When we went to DisneyWorld I brought my old digital camera for him to use. He has started pointing the camera at things he likes, but I'm not sure whether he understands that he can keep the photos he takes.

I want to take him to play billiards or bowling sometime. I don't think he's ever seen it before. He won't play very well. Should that matter at all? Timothy derives pleasure from simply doing things, especially when there are other people doing it too. That is something very special, and worth experiencing.

First Time Snow Boarding

Emily and I just came back from our first day of snow boarding. Every single muscle in my body is aching, but I got away with no bruises. Emily has the inverse situation - no muscle aches but got bruises on her knees and butt.

We booked ourselves in for snowboarding lessons at the start of the day. Without those lessons, we would have come back very unhappy and with many more injuries. It is ridiculously easy to stack it (Aussie slang, see below) when riding a snowboard, but the lessons ensure you get down the slopes safely.

Mind you, there were plenty of falls in the lessons and later on during the day. They were just significantly less painful than they could have been. :) During the lessons I discovered that, when falling on to your butt, you should immediately roll on to your back like you are a ball. This reduces butt-impact significantly, and is far better than sticking your hands out behind you. I managed to come away from the day with my wrists and knees intact - quite an achievement considering the horror stories I'd been hearing. :P

The weather on Grouse Mountain was absolutely beautiful and surreal. We've had permanent fog in the downtown area for 4 days, so it's been cold and sunless for a while. Grouse Mountain was sunny and 17c! Some people were skiing or boarding in just pants and shirt. I was rubbing snow on my face and hands to cool down. The odd weather is called a "temperature inversion", and the fog in downtown will remain until it goes away.

The views from the slope are something very special. Many times I'd be partway down the slope, stop my board and just sit down to look at it. Visibility was unlimited and I think we could see at least 2 states south into the USA. At the base of the mountain was "cloud city" - enormous stretches of fog with just a few highrises and hills poking out of it. At nighttime we were still on slopes and you could see large patches of lights from the city glowing through the fog. I wish I had a camera with me, but I doubt a photo could do it justice. It was like sitting on the edge of the earth and looking down into the stars and space. Absolutely incredible.

Getting to Grouse Mountain is pretty easy; 30 minutes on the local bus network, and 30 minutes to wait for the tram ride to the mountain top. We have season passes for the tram ride, and get discounts for bringing guests. We'll be looking to buy our own snowboards and get up to the slopes again soon. :)

P.S. To "stack" is Aussie slang for crashing and/or falling off something accidentally or falling down. Usually when operating a vehicle. You can even see the old stackhat helmets at the PowerHouse Museum website.

Vancouver is Dark City

I've just gotten out of bed, had a shower, its 7.30am, and it's dark. Really dark. It's like "there will be no dawn for men" dark.

In the winter, Vancouver is a combination of snow, rain, thick horizon-spanning clouds, late sunrise and early sunset. To make it worse, we just came back from DisneyWorld in Florida where it was 20+ and sunny every day. I'm half-tempted to print some vacation photos and post them over my windows... ;)